Love Is Pain
by My-Little-Imagination
Summary: Kurt has to get use to the idea of Finn being with Rachel. He doesn't want Finn to be hurt any longer, even if it costs him his own happiness. First ever glee fic, so be gentle hehe xx p.s, Kurt is just adorable xD


Finn was at his locker listening to Rachel list mulitple songs which she tought would be great for their next duets, but although his ears were _trying_ to focus on Rachel, his eyes could not. Rachel didn't notice since she was in her own little world listing song after song as fast as she could, she was oblivious to Finn's unattentive state. Finn's eyes were focused on the small boy heading their way, he had a look on his face which made Finn's heart drop. The boy had red, puffy eyes, his cheeks were more rosey than usual, his hair was a mess, which was very unusual for him seeing as his appearance was the most imporant thing in the boy's life. His clothes were fine (as usual) but what really got Finn's attention were the faint tear tracks on the boy's cheeks.

The boy moved closer and closer to them, until he was mearly inches away. This made Rachel stop dead in her list and looked at him. She was automatically going to protest and tell him to go away, but when her eyes scanned his face, she held her tounge. The boy didnt say anything. Finn and Rachel looked at eachother , then back at the boy. Finn nor Rachel knew what to say, but suddenly the boy moved closer to Finn and hugged him. This took both Finn and Rachel by surprise. Rachel was stunned and Finn felt like he turned into stone. Before any questions were asked, the boy broke the _very uncomfortable_ silence.

''You can have Rachel'' the boy said in a small voice, hiding his face in the tall man's chest.

''Kurt? What-'' Finn tried to ask, but was interupted.

''I'm sorry, for everything'' Kurt said as he pulled away from the boy, new tears were now making their way down the boy's cheeks. ''You can have Rachel''. With that, the boy turned away and made his way to the boy's bathroom. Rachel was confused as ever while Finn was still in his statue-like state. Finn snapped out of it and ran his way towards the bathroom, leaving a confused Rachel at the lockers.

''Kurt!...Kurt! are you in here?'' Finn called. ''You have to be here somewhere, you couldn't have gone out the wondow'' Finn said. There still was no response. ''Kurt please...talk to me...'' Finn tried. ''Fine, You're gonna have to come out of the stall sometime or another, I'm not leaving until you do...'' Finn stated while resting on the bathroom wall. ''I mean it dude'' Finn continued. Still no sound.

''OK, man listen...you have to talk to me alright. You can't just say something and run off. Kurt please, I wanna...help'' Finn admited. There was quiet for a while but suddenly Finn heard a door lock click, which made him move off the wall.

Kurt finally emerged from the stall, but never looked at Finn.

''Kurt?'' Finn moved closer to the boy and placed his large hands on the boy's dainty shoulders. ''Kurt...look at me'' Finn ordered. The boy couldn't help but look. ''Kurt, talk'' Finn said looking straight into the boy's blue eyes. ''What are you sorry for?'' Finn asked.

''........''

''Kurt, please...''

''I'm sorry...it's not fair...I'm sorry'' Kurt rambled.

''Dude you're not making any sense...What's not fair?''

''You like Rachel!...But you won't be with her because of me!'' Kurt almost screamed. ''Finn I know you like her...I'm not stupid!'' tears stained the boys beautiful face. ''Everyone knows you like her, everyone's wondering why you havn't accepted to be her boyfriend yet'' Kurt didin't take his eyes off Finn's. ''But I know why...'' Kurt said, much more calmly.

''Kurt...'' Finn started. But once again was interupted.

''You don't wanna be with her...because you know it would hurt me...You know I love you finn, everyone knows...no one is that dence not to notice...'' he said, less calm. ''you don't want to admit your feelings about Rachel because you're too protective over mine!'' Kurt said, his voice getting caught up every once in a while.

''You're right'' Finn said, finaly breaking eye contact. ''You're right Kurt...I havn't been able to accept being with Rachel...because of you.'' Finn said looking at the floor. ''And you're right about me not wanting to hurt you...I care about you Kurt...I-''

''You care so much that you're willing not to be with her?'' Kurt caught his eyes again. But before Finn had a chance to answer, Kurt contunued. ''That's the problem Finn! I can't handle it anymore!...I see you looking at her, I can see it in your eyes...you want to be with her, and you're hurting...because of me, you're hur-'' He choked on a sob and couldn't continue, the only thing which seemed that couldn't stop were his tears. Finn couldn't help but hug him tightly. This time more relaxed then before.

''Kurt...'' He didn't know what to say. ''I like you too, you know?''

''But not like you do her'' Kurt said, slowly getting his voice back. Finn was still lost for words. ''I was a fool to think that you'd ever love me the way I do you...I was in over my head...i was stupid...I'm sorry, i'm so sorry Finn'' Kurt continued through his tears. Finn drew him in closer.

''It's ok Kurt...'' was the only thing Finn could think of.

''You wan't to be with her...tell me you want to be with her'' kurt demanded.

''......''

''answer me Finn...please'' Kurt cried looking up at him.

''Yes'' came a croacked answer. Finn was fighting against his own tears. Kurt loosened his hold on Finn so he could look up to him more clearly. Finn's hold stayed tight, leaving their lower bodies pressed together.

''Than I give you permission to be with Rachel...I give you permission to hurt me Finn Hudson'' Kurt said, wiping away few of his tears that were tickling his cheeks.

''I don't wanna hurt you Kurt'' Finn said with all sincerity.

''You have to...If you don't, you'll be hurting both yourself and Rachel'' Finn placed his palms over Finn's cheek that was now wet with tears. ''It's not fair for you...I'm not worth it.''

''Don't say that!'' Finn looked him straight in his eyes, he noticed that they were now green. '_His eyes are beautiful when they keep changing colour' _he tought, and almost smiled.

''It's true Finn...i'm worthless'' Kurt admited, looking back down.

''That's not true Kurt!'' Finn objected. ''Who helped us win the football game, giving me a chance for a scholarship?'' Finn asked lifting up the boy's head.

''I...did'' Kurt said softly.

''Who helped me when I had all that baby drama?''

''Mr Shuester?'' Kurt said

''Besides him Kurt'' Finn smiled through his tears.

''I did'' Kurt admited once again.

''Yes you did..You helped me with my ballad...You gave me the courage I needed to tell Quinn's parents about the baby''

''But that didn't go too well'' Kurt stated.

''It doesn't matter...because with your help, a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and made me feel good for the first time in a very long time.'' Finn explained. This made Kurt smile. ''So you see Kurt, you're not worthless, not to me...especially not to me. After all this Quinn, puck, baby drama...you are my best friend'' Finn finished, bringing Kurt back into the hug.

''but still,'' Kurt continued, ''be with Rachel...be with the one you love, you deserve it Finn Hudson.'' Kurt looked back up and continued before Finn had the chance to talk. ''Forget my feelings Finn. Think about yours first...I'm asking you to be selfish on this.'' Kurt said eyeing the tall boy's face closely.

''But, if I go with Rachel, you're still going to be hurt...'' Finn stated.

''Yes I will...very hurt...But I can't bare seeing you hurt either. One of us is going to get hurt. I'm offering myself. You win Finn...Rachel wins...I'm use to it by now I never stood a chance anyway. So, don't worry about me, I have to learn to get over it. I'll never stop loving you Finn...But i won't let my love for you hurt you any longer.'' Kurt finished, letting down another batch of tears. ''Just know that, if you ever need something, or just someone to talk too...i'm always here for you, always will be'' Kurt now locked eyes with him.

''Kurt...'' Finn let his tears fall freely once again. ''I'll always be here for you too...I'll always be your friend, I know that's not what you wish, and I'm sorry that I can't be more than that. But I will be as close to you as friends should. I promise you that.'' Finn said wholeheartedly. Kurt smiled, wiping Finn's tears away with his thumbs.

Kurt nodded, ''Thank you Finn...now go, go...get your...girl''

''Are you sure?''

''Yes. Now go'' Kurt demanded, but smiled.

''You're staying here?''

''I have to...freshin up'' Kurt wiped his tears and looked in the mirror.

Finn held Kurt closely for one last hug and kissed to boy on his forehead. ''Thank you Kurt, you truely are awesome'' Finn said with a smile. They let go of eachother and after a few other exchanges of smiles, Finn left out the door.

The next day kurt stubled upon Finn and Rachel breaking apart from a kiss. Finn looked at him, his eyes filled with worry. But Kurt just smiled at him, telling him that it was ok. He made his way to the bathroom and locked himself in the stall,this time, no one came after him. He began to cry. It's going to be a long process, but he has to get use to it, for Finn.

**A/N...This was actually a dream I had last night. Well, all I dreamt was Kurt walking up to Finn and higging him and telling him ''he can have Rachel.'' Then I woke up ^^...So it gave ****me an idea for a fic. **

**(hoped you guys liked it :]) **


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